Here’s the lay down:
1. Quit calling them resolutions
2. Set achievable goals
3. Make a game plan
4. YOU WILL FAIL- get up and go again
1. Quit calling them resolutions! Call them goals!
But what difference does it make if I call them resolutions or goals? It’s just a word right? First of all, flawed logic. Second of all, there is so much power in words. I mean, ridiculous example, imagine you are a secretary at a law firm, and you constantly get called the phone girl or the pencil pusher. Accurate descriptions of your job? For the most part. But does it sound important or like it actually encompasses the fact that the secretary is the glue that holds this law firm together? Not at all. There is so much power in what you choose to call something.
So, call it a goal. Then your brain will start treating it more seriously. If you call it a New Years Resolution, you will break it. Why? Because that’s what you are culturally supposed to do with resolutions.
2. Set achievable goals.
There are some qualifications for what is an achievable goal. I have set dozens of goals for myself, and I am still learning the parameters for achievable goals.
First, have room for grace in your goal. For example, let’s use losing weight...cuz I feel like that is a pretty common one. If you tell yourself you will work out every single day, YOU WILL BREAK YOUR PROMISE TO YOURSELF! How do I know this? Cuz life. What if you get sick or get into a car accident and are in an orthopedic boot for 6 weeks. Promising something like that sets you up for failure. Instead, choose something like I will work out 3 times a week for 30 minutes. Even a goal to get up and move your body for thirty minutes a day can be accomplished.
Another pitfall I frequently find myself in is setting goals that rely on things outside of my control. Here’s mine: I will lose three pounds a week. Not unreasonable right? Wrong. My body frequently just decides to do its own thing regardless of what I want it to do. I have been following a nutrition plan and working out for about a month now and my body is just now starting to lose weight. It’s annoying, but every time I have set a certain amount of weight loss as my goal, I have “failed,” given up, and had to start all over.
Here is my list of goals right now, which I write as if they have already happened:
1. I am an exceptional wife. Right now that means I am learning grace and encouragement.
2. I am an awesome teacher!
3. I graduated Summa Cum Laude
4. I work out at Planet Fitness 3 times a week
5. I take constructive criticism well.
6. I read 30 minutes a day.
7. I follow my nutrition plan.
8. I write at least one blog a week with the eventual goal of earning money from that blog.
9. I can take offensive comments from other people without getting defensive.
10. I have a Masters Degree in Middle Eastern history from Harvard University.
Right now I am also doing a 150 mile winter run challenge, so I have an additional goal of walking/running 30 miles a week.
3. Make a game plan for achieving your goals.
Great! Now you have something to aim for. Now how do you get there? There are several tips here that I recommend.
A. Walk your goal backward. I did this a lot writing papers in college- never in four years did I have to pull an all-nighter to write a paper- because of this strategy. Start with the deadline. If you don’t have a deadline, make one. Is it next December 31? Is it summertime? Is it one month? Whatever your deadline is, work backward from there. Write down everything- and I mean everything- you need to do to reach that goal. Then start calendar mapping. How many days do you have compared to steps you have to reach your goal? How long will each step take you, and how much time can you dedicate to accomplishing the goal each day?
Here’s an example: Writing a 20 page research paper in 12 weeks. Feasibly I have 6 days a week, but I will plan with only 5 days a week to give myself grace. So I have 60 days. Next I list out the steps to reach a full research paper: choose a topic, tertiary source research, secondary source research, primary source research, outline, first draft, second draft, third draft, final draft. (these are highly simplified steps- secondary research alone takes weeks). Then I spread the tasks over the time period in manageable chunks and I stick to it. Sure enough, in 12 weeks, I have a research paper.
B. PLANNING!
Of course I would say this in a planning and organizing blog. But seriously, I don’t care if your goal is to lose weight or to spend less money at the grocery store or whatever, you WILL NOT get there if you don’t plan to get there. Yes you know what you’re aiming at, but unless you map out the road to the end goal, you might as well take a route that takes you through outer space. Extreme- yes I know. But I’m dead serious! I sit down with my husband once a week, and we map out our week. We are leaving for a retreat this weekend to focus on what we want January- March 2020 to look like. Don’t think I just randomly go “Huh, I think I’ll write my blog today.” No! I knew Saturday night when this was happening. We are in the middle of building a house right now, and there is no stinking way we could be where we are on this house if we just let our random feelings dictate when we work on it. Planning, people! I cannot overemphasize this. You don’t have to be as organized as I am, but make an effort to put your goals in a plan. Otherwise they will not happen. Wanna work out this week? Put it in the plan! Wanna read 30 minutes a day? Schedule it in!!! If you wait til you feel like it, you can join the 25% who don’t make it out of January. Harsh but true.
4. You WILL fail! Get up and go again!
Several months ago, my husband watched some YouTube video about the two- day rule, and I have followed it ever since. Essentially the two day rule is the idea that you can slip for one day but not for two. For example, if I have a goal to read for 30 minutes a day, but one morning just gets away from me and I don’t get to it, I give myself some grace and make sure it happens the next day. Working out is another really cool application of this principle. I hate working out. I want to lose the weight, but I HATE the process! So- two day rule. I work out every other day so I’m not exhausted but I am also following the two day rule. If I ever go longer than that, I have to overcome all of the negative emotions again to force myself to go work out. The two day rule allows for some grace but still keeps you accountable.
You are also human, and humans fail at things. Lots of things. And everybody does it. You’re not the only one. Give yourself seem grace, write down some motivational saying and go again. And again and again and again. Quit quitting on yourself. Failure is literally the path to growth. So, as Rachel Hollis says, Fail Forward.
Friends, New Years is now 1 day, 10 hours, and 59 minutes away. Don’t be afraid of New Years. Let’s join the 8%! 2020 starts a new decade full of new possibilities and new opportunities for growth. Let’s take 2020 by the horns and fail forward! We got this!
Until next week,
Ashley
Comments
Post a Comment